Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My Son the Nudist

For a while now we have been in the "naked phase". Garrett enjoys as do most boys running around the house in his undies or nothing on the bottom, sometimes a shirt is not even required. This all started during potty training but has continued for the last few months.  The child cannot take off his own pants to go to the bathroom, but can take off his shirt to run around the house in the buff. This phase has forced us to make rules in our house such as...

1. You must wear underwear at the dinner table.
2. You must put on shorts and a shirt to go outside (back yard or front yard).

Anyways, now that it is out and you believe that I am a crazy parent or better yet that you will one day show up at my door with a naked child running around in the background. I have a story to tell.

A few nights ago, I put Garrett to bed. Now the only time that he wears a diaper is during his naps and at night. Bill checked on him before he went to bed but I stayed up a little later than he did, so I went in to kiss him goodnight. First I went to turn off his lullabies and before kissing him I noticed something at the side of his bed. I leaned down to figure it out, it was a diaper. Did I have to change his diaper before going to bed, I couldn't remember...So I slowly pealed back the covers. To my surprise, Garrett had taken his diaper off and was SLEEPING IN THE BUFF. I thought this was a phase that I would face later in life, like his teenage years. Did time lapse when I wasn't looking? This was my two year old right? Oh my, I rolled him over and put his diaper back on him, but I just got a great laugh out of the experience of finding my son naked in bed! Well at the least I have surpassed this first in my life and later I will not be surprised when it happens again.

Emotions Run High

The end of September and the beginning of October have been fun, yet also through staying busy with fun fall activities our emotions peek through at times. What am I talking about? Well, September 29th was supposed to be my due date with our son Jamie. I was very emotional to the buildup of the day and tried not to cry on that day, knowing that he would not have come on that day for he would have probably been a week or so late, as was Garrett. When we found out that he was due on the 29th all I could think about was if he was a week late he would arrive around my birthday. How special would it be that Garrett was born the day after Bill's birthday and Jamie would arrive just shy or right around mine. I do believe that was probably more emotional around my birthday than the actual due date. My birthday fell on Friday, October 8th and Bill and the day were fabulous. He had an amazing day for the two of us planned. We went to Universal and rode the roller coasters and saw the Blue Man Group and just had a day for the two of us. However, that Sunday at church was Baby Dedications. I cried when they originally announced the date knowing that we would have loved to introduce him to everyone at that time, but had completely forgotten about it until that morning at church. As the two couples stood at the front of the church, I could only pray that God and Jamie could hear my prayers and wipe my tears. The only thing that got Bill and I both through that moment was knowing that we don't have to raise him to know God, for he already rests in his arms.

We have a small box that sits on my dresser, filled with little things, the blanket we rapped him in, the hat he wore in the hospital, the cards and letters we received, those that we wrote to him after he passed and a few pictures. Some days if I really sit down to think about it, I wish that we had so much more than a box. What I would give to be up to my eyeballs, in diapers and baby laundry!

I pray each day and know that he lives with his keeper and that one day I will meet him again and my heart will be whole again. Until that time I miss him greatly.